The Helpless Alternative

Of course, we have to go there.  You know exactly where we are headed… it’s not the place that leaves a person feeling helpless, it is the person that is either so oblivious or arrogant that they are actually helpless because they can’t humble themselves enough to get out of their own way in order to be helped.

Now, in all fairness, it is not always a complete loss or outright negative.  Sometimes it is just someone’s nature to be stubborn and want to persist, and as result they end up resisting help.

Unfortunately, stubbornness can lead to the detriment of the team as the more frustrated people become the less clear they think and the more their actions become irrational.

Here’s the main thing: it is difficult to work with people that think they are too smart for the room or need no help with anything because they already ‘know it all’ (among many other unflattering descriptions I could use).

This can also happen with patients but you have to take a different approach, beat them at their own game, and get to the root cause of their hesitation.  They usually tell on themselves giving into the fact that they prefer the outcomes over the resistance just for the appearance of being right.

Most of all, I don’t want you to fall victim to this yourself by being in your own way thinking that accepting help, guidance, or support makes you less than – it actually makes you more than – you were before.  Never forget that.

I’ve joked about this for a couple decades now, that when you are growing up in school, cheating was frowned upon – how dare you not have all of the answers yourself.  Now, as a responsible adult, if you aren’t looking for people to help you, leveraging others’ experiences, and seeking to gain an advantage, you are foolish.

No one technically ever does anything completely all by themselves.  So why not be deliberate about it and seek out the best help you can find.  Not just as a last resort either, but as a strategic and proactive move in order to get you where you want to be faster and to get the result you desire with less stress, effort, time, and work.

This is really all about being resourceful.

Where can you be more resourceful in your life – in and out of your practice?

Where are you being stubborn and getting in your own way?

Where are your frustrations leading to a lack of clarity and rational thought?

When do you let your ego get in your way when you should be asking for help?

And on the flip side of this coin, be careful how much energy you put into other people who fit this description.  You can’t let yourself get frustrated by people that are helpless by their own chosen attitude and behavior.

This should be an instructive sharing experience for the entire team.  It will bring out some very honest and direct conversations.

Ultimately, it is these types of discussions that yield more empathy for one another, especially for yourself.

Remember, being helpless is choice, there is always something that can be done and someone that can help.  Together, we are most capable not only when we extend a hand but when we accept one as well.

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